New Years Resolutions? Check and check.

I’m sure you noticed, lovely readers, the distinct lack of the obligatory “New Years Resolutions” blog on OverBaked and UnderGround or (OBUG, as I am wont to refer to this fine publication). Is it possible, you may wonder, that a driven young woman such as myself really did not resolve to better herself at all in 2014? Perhaps, you might contemplate, it is because she is not sure she will be able to follow through on resolutions (you may have caught wind of my resolution of 2013 – to wear less jeans and more classy pants and how by mid-may I was back to schlepping around in that cursed denim leg wear once again). Not true, not true. I did, actually, have resolutions…two in fact.

As of today, I have officially achieved both of those promises to myself. Firstly, I have found The Best Bottle of Gin. It is called Junipero, and when I sip it, it tastes like I am licking a juniper tree. Paired with high mountain snow, a bit of tonic water, a hunk of lemon sawed off by a buck knife, and a smoke-filled winter cabin, one is taken back to the days of yore, when ice was a novelty, and gin was known as Mother’s Ruin. I plan on quality controlling several more bottles over the year, just to make sure I didn’t get a particularly good bottle..consistency is one of the talking points of a fine gin.

On to my second goal. I resolved to defrost the freezer. Having given myself a full 365 days to accomplish this, you all aught to be impressed that it only took me 36. My freezer as of late has been resembling a glacial ice cave. At the initial defrosting which began at approximately 10:!5 this morning, the only items that would fit alongside the stalactites and stalagmites were a bag of “Velvet Hammer” coffee (yes, it tastes as sultry as it sounds), a trio of Gelato, a block of pork fat, several obligatory frozen bananas because some day we all intend to make banana bread of out of old bananas, and, ironically, several ice cube trays. After reading several blindly optimistic DIY blogs, I gathered the necessary accouterments – a pan of boiling water and a few rags – and plunged into the great unknown.

The concept was straightforward. Empty freezer, turn it off, pour boiling water into pan, place pan in freezer, shut freezer door, wait and let the “magic of steam” do it’s work. This is where things began to stray from what PerkyPennyPincher312 had brightly promised would be a “double quick task”…what followed was a 5 hour test of faith, will-power, and stamina involving phone calls home for support, frostbitten phalanges, Junipero Gin, and a new found resolve to never defrost my freezer again. I am still shaken and chilled, but have composed myself enough to clear up a few things that perky penny pinchers may not have been clear about..

1) Instead of a few rags, plan on using every absorbent piece of fabric you have in your house. Melting ice turns into lots and lots of water..I wish I had tried harder in science class..

2) When spelunking in ice caves, don’t use a glass dish to pour boiling water into. Apparently when very hot water connects with very cold glass, dangerous things happen and you may end up cleaning up shards of glass along with icicles. Again..science class..

3) When storing frozen items for safe keeping, it is advised to NOT take advantage of the subzero temperatures outside and store the goods on the veranda. Crows don’t hibernate, and they really really enjoy pork fat and “Velvet Hammer Coffee”.

Now that that’s over, my new years resolution for 2015 will be to actually make damn banana bread.

As Laura Ingalls Wilder penned, “All’s Well that Ends Well”, and this day is ending well with a gin hot toddy.

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The Hot Gin Toddy

serves 1
1 teaspoon honey
5 whole cloves
1 whole anise star
1 whole cardamom pod
1 1/2 oz London dry gin (I used Broker’s)
1/2 cup boiling water
Slice of orange

Add honey and spices to the bottom of a heat-proof snifter or mug. Pour in the water, add the gin, and squeeze the orange and drop it into the glass. Stir until the honey is melted.